I don’t journal. (or cold plunge, I know, I know…)

I don’t journal

I don’t have an alarm clock 

I don’t do cold plunges.

And I got my Wife nothing for Christmas (or Valentines Day)

Allow me to explain.

Now before you clutch your pearls in abject horror at my total lack of self-discipline and flagrant disregard for the norms of marriage - allow me to ask you a question.

Why do you do any of that stuff?

Why do you have an alarm clock?

Why do you journal?

Why do you cold plunge (or at least agonise over the fact that you think you should be cold plunging because…Huberman)

Why did you buy your Wife flowers on Valentine's Day? (you did buy her flowers on Valentines Day didn’t you??)

It’s one thing to do a thing, it’s another thing entirely to know why you are doing it.

Let’s pull some of these apart - so you can put your torches and pitchforks down - I’m not a monster.

I don’t have or use an alarm clock.

And it’s not because I’m some uber successful solo-preneur who sleeps till mid morning and swans about in my chinos, linen shirt flowing over my washboard abs, drinking espressos on my pool deck trading meme-tokens on Solana. (buy my course)

I go to bed early because I prioritise sleep. 
I’m in bed by 930pm and I’m awake by 530am.

We don’t have curtains or blinds in our bedroom, (advantage of living in the country) so when daylight surfaces - it arrives unfiltered into our room through uncovered glass doors.

If you get your circadian rhythm sorted by early morning light exposure, not slamming espresso martinis at 5pm or binge watching Netflix till 1am then guess what - you start to sleep like a well functioning adult instead of an indulgent party bro teenager.

Yes, if I need to be up earlier than 530am I’ll use an alarm (but 9 times out of 10 I’ll wake before it goes off) and I also have a backup system of two children, which means even if I wanted to sleep in, anything past 630am is a total pipedream. 

There’s nothing wrong with an alarm clock - but perhaps there is value is seeing if you can ditch it (or investigating why you can’t)

I don’t journal.

(that’ll get the journal bro’s fired up) 

Why do you do a thing?

You journal because it helps organise your thoughts, reflect and express your feelings in a coherent way, process and defrag all the myriad of flotsam and jetsam in your head. 

Sounds like a good idea to me. 

I don’t journal simply because I run. 

Six days a week I get out on the trails and turn the legs over. 

And I let the mental inbox declutter in real time as the miles pass. 

So no I’m not bagging journaling - but you do you. 

If journaling isn’t for you, don’t throw the concept out with the leather bound artisanal notebook you got off Etsy as part of their ‘New Year - New You’ sale. 

Understand why you do a thing and then find a process that works for you - with the same outcome in mind.

I journal in VO2 and sweat. That works for me.

You journal in ink and carbon - that works for you.

Same deal with cold plunge.

But how can I ever be a #hubermanhusband if I’m not cold plunging, delaying my first  coffee and getting my early morning dose of ‘low solar angle high contrast blue yellow sunlight’?

Does cold plunge work? 

Yes.

Why?

Elevated dopamine levels, cortisol management, brown fat activation, the list goes on. Then there’s the mental and emotional benefits of doing something hard and unequivocally miserable every day.

So why don’t I do it?

My dopamine is bang on, I train hard most days, I’ve spent my fair share of days alone and exposed in the coldest parts of the planet. I’ve done my stint in the cold mate, trust me, my brown fat hates me and doesn’t need activation.

I do hard things, just other hard things. 

Just because all the cool kids are doing it doesn’t mean you have to…..you can if you want - if it’s the right thing for you.

And that brings us to my last indefensible position - I don’t buy my Wife flowers on Valentines Day. 

And no, I didn't get her anything for Christmas.

Why do you buy flowers on Valentine's Day?

Because you should?

Because you’ll feel like an ungrateful thoughtless cad if you don’t.

Because Interflora told you too?

I don’t because I buy her flowers randomly throughout the year. 

Because that takes thought, comes with no instagram reminders, it signals that you were on my mind today for no other reason than I think of you all the time.

Similar story for Christmas - if I see something I think she will love I buy it for her. I don’t care if it’s March 5th or December 25th. 

Christmas is about our kids and doing things as a family - gifts for each other should come without timetable or fanfare. 

See, I’m not a thoughtless, heartless automaton. 

If you journal and cold plunge and all that jazz then I applaud you - provided it works for you. 

Don’t do a thing because everyone else is. 

Do it because you understand what you hope to achieve and then reflect and assess - did I actually get the adaptation I wanted - or have I just gotten better at suffering….in a cool instagrammable way.

It is one thing to do a thing, it’s another thing entirely to know why you are doing it.

Solve problems, not add obligations.

And keep your love out of the calendar - go free-range.