Limbic Friction – What is it? Do I care? Sounds like something that could cause chafing – do I need a cream for it?

So last week in LinkedIn I popped up one of my favourite quotes from Steven Pressfield;

“Most of us have two lives – the life that we life and the unlived life within us.

What lies between is resistance.”

And I left people with the wonderfully mysterious and ambiguous line of ‘Seek Resistance’

Which is of course, totally on par for some LinkedIn posts – a somewhat nebulous, sufficiently open ended statement that readers will mentally backfill with their own needs and desires, intellectual enough that I sound well-read without having to provide context or any serious value. How dare I.

 Well rest assured I never intended to leave it there and let you do the heavy lifting – I was coming back, and so here I am.

 Rather than ‘seek resistance’ what would have more accurate was ‘seek friction’

As a long-distance runner, I have a personal policy that any kind of friction is to be avoided at all costs. Or at the very least met with an aptly named trail running anti-chafe product – something like ‘Squirrels Nut Butter’ (google it I didn’t make that up).

Or there was the kind of friction I crushingly exerted upon the gearbox of my 1980 sky-blue Holden Gemini with beige upholstery, as I learnt to drive a manual car as a teenager.  Attempting to utilise either the Force or Divine intervention to change gears sans-clutch. Biblical level friction.

But in Nature, true friction is a work of art – river over rocks, wind over sand dunes – the timeless and repetitive effort that slowly removes impediment to provide a beautiful flowing surface. Imperceptible, relentless, iterative.

But Nature doesn’t just exist in the macro – where we can ‘see’ it. The same process exists in the micro. Friction provides a beautiful opportunity to wear aware resistance and turn the stiff and unyielding into something as pliable and indispensable as your fav pair of old jeans.

It’s just that all of this is happening in your own head.

Whilst the term #limbicfriction might be all uber-fresh and very ‘now’ the reality is we’ve all experienced it every day since we climbed down out of the trees.

When you want something but know you don’t need it.

When you know you should do something but don’t want to.

When you know you’re reacting one way but should be reacting another.

In simple terms Limbic Friction is the internal conflict that arises between what you want to do and what you should do.

It’s the emotional and often irrational ‘chimp’ brain (your emotional limbic system) flinging mental poop at the logical and rational modern human brain (your higher functioning cerebral cortex) and the ensuing chaos.

So that’s all well and good and now I can act a little more enlightened at social gatherings when some toff is banging on about limbic friction and his recent #dopamineholiday like a complete nonce but,

Why should I give a crap?

Because when you understand how something works, you can begin to leverage it to your advantage.

Disclaimer – this is not a #hack – I hate that term. If something works all the time every time, it’s not a hack, you haven’t discovered a secret back door or a glitch in the matrix. You’ve just come to realise how something worked all along and can now utilise the system. You just read a little more of the operating manual and figured out how to use the clutch. You’re about to go from grinding gears to doing no-brake, clutch riding, dead stop hill starts like you just stepped off the set of Fast & the Furious XXIV (or whatever number they’re up to).

But back to Limbic Friction.

So two things – why do I want it and how do I manage it

Why do I want it?

Back to our river running over the rocks.

If we start to purposefully inject some limbic friction into our lives – over time that friction wears away the resistance and gradually what was rough, uncomfortable, even painful, becomes smoother, sleeker, easier.

How do we inject some friction? We force ourselves into that gap – between wanting to do one thing and actually doing another.

Between knowing you should go for a run versus actually getting up, getting changed and running. In the rain.

Between knowing the benefits of cold showers or even ice baths versus actually shoving your panic-stricken carcass into a bath of severe shrinkage inducing water.

Place yourself in the position where the monkey mind is busy flinging poop and then exert some top-down control – have your rational cortex remind you how to move the levers and dials and deal.

Regular friction = reduced resistance = greater control.

When your mind and body have been subjected to regular friction by choice – when it occurs not by choice your system is far better calibrated to switch into manage mode versus panic mode.  

That degree of control keeps the mental poop flinging to a minimum – and with that comes clarity, that leads to greater mental bandwidth to calculate options, see paths and make choices.

Ok so I get I want to get myself some friction on the regular.

How do I make that less of a totally shitty experience?

How do I manage it.?

“You can’t control the mind with the mind”

– Dr. Andrew Huberman

Sounds like something Morpheus would say but let’s read the operating manual again.

The nervous system is the link between the mind and the body – but it’s not a one way street. Traffic flows either way and often without any oversight – in times of panic, shock, stress, fear, excitement – the traffic lights are out and the emotional limbic system takes the driver seat.

Telling yourself to calm the hell down won’t really do much. Telling your mind to control your mind doesn’t work.

Understand that it is a system of levers and dials – so move the dials and pull the levers. Here’s an example that’s gained recent popularity.

Seen people talking about the ‘Physiological Sigh’ as a technique for calming down?

Solid inhale, followed by another inhale, then slow exhale. Repeat.  

(as a side note when some insta-celeb or #guru excitedly tells me all about this #hack I love asking them why it works. Tells you whether they understand the system or are just parroting the latest thing)

So what does it do?

First inhale is straightforward – air in.

Second inhale really dials up the internal pressure in the lungs, pushing open the collapsed alveoli (the little sacs that do the oxygen/carbon dioxide transfer)

This maximises transfer and then the long exhale does blows off a ton of carbon dioxide which in turn reduces the heart rate.

All of which serves to calm the system – it registers decreased carbon dioxide and a lower heart rate.

We are back in some measure of control.

Not because you told yourself to calm down but because you understood the dials and levers and used them.

Can’t stop yourself from raiding the tearoom at work every arvo – that’s the monkey mind driving the bus again. Understand the levers – your body doesn’t actually want the donut, it’s more likely trying to deal with boredom, or fatigue, or needs fluid, or is actually hungry because lunch was devoid of anything that even resembled protein.  

Find the problem and fix the problem. Exert that top-down control and act like an intelligent human. Not an emotional poo-flinging primate. Put the donut down, have a glass of water and pack a better lunch. And get a better nights sleep.

So quick recap.

Limbic Friction – the battle between what you want to do and what you should do.

Why you actually want it – self-induced and well-managed friction creates higher emotional and mental bandwidth, a low drag system that is better equipped to deal with real world friction of the unexpected or unwanted kind.

How to deal with it – understand your owner’s manual. Learn how the internal levers and dials work and then use that to your advantage.

That’s it my former tree-dwelling friends, thanks for coming along :)

PS – for those of you who want to totally geek out on this and dive down the rabbit hole, check out Dr Andrew Huberman, either at the Huberman Lab podcast, or his guest pod on the Modern Wisdom podcast, both excellent.